Monday, November 16, 2015

Shame and Forgiveness

Before every Quilt Festival, I think about what I might be shopping for -- do I need anything? do I want anything? Quite literally, the whole world of quilting supplies will be coming to MY neighborhood! Of course, I know there will be impulse buys, the thing I Must Have! that I didn't even know existed, but I try to make a list. This year, I had thoughtfully decided to get very little fabric -- nothing I particularly wanted & certainly, nothing I needed.

After Festival was over, I awoke with a headache & was a bit disoriented. I was surrounded by teetering towers & enormous piles of cloth. I've read that when a person over-indulges in a behavior she intended not to do all, this can be a sign of addiction. I hardly knew how & when it happened -- but happen it did. I was truly embarrassed & a little ashamed.

Anyway, what did I get?

A fat quarter bundle of Lizzy House's mini pearl bracelets. I am such a sucker for bundles of all the color ways of a print -- put a bow on it & I am a goner. But don't I have an un-used bundle of her first pearl bracelets? Why, yes I do. Maybe they should come together, maybe using a Cherie House pattern!

10 pieces (!) of Anna Maria Horner's Loominous! They are so beautiful! The colors are like candy! They made me think of the Laura Ashley skirts & dresses I have cut up on my shelves.

Then, not one, not two, but THREE quilt kits!!! I mean -- SERIOUSLY!!! But there the quilts were, made up on the booth's wall, all pretty & everything. I crumpled. The coarse Daiwabo prints may become what they were packaged to become -- a simple medallion.

What if I skip the pattern & combine these others with things I already have?

Dots with Lonni Rossi?

Heavy Metal with a vintage print?

Quite a haul. After some introspection, I have decided to forgive myself. Simply put, I went on a bender. I'm not trying to excuse my behavior, rather to understand it. I think the reason for my spree may have been longs weeks of stressful work & no sewing. I have learned that when I can't sew -- I tend to shop. Now that I have some time & energy for sewing, the shopping should stop. :-}

Addendum: I had been working on this post for a while, but after the events of week's end, it seemed silly & frivolous. But I decided to go ahead with it. If every time something awful happened in the world, the latest display of how cruel people can be to each other, if every time this happened we stopped thinking about & doing things we enjoy & sharing with people who share our enjoyment, then there would be no pleasure in life at all.
Love one another.


O'Quilts said...

I am so delighted with your post...all the eye candy to soothe our lives. Collecting is not addiction. Hoarding maybe...ha ha...but not addiction. Unless of course, you have been hospitalized because of it...or jailed...or did not pay the rent..We are lucky to love fabric, instead of $300 purses, or shoes, or...fancy cars...We just plain love pretty...Enjoy and we will enjoy right along with you. Now, I am going a bit nuts, so I have to get out of the house. I am going to Walmart for items...and I might just peruse the fabric aisle...I have just taken permission..

Rachaeldaisy said...

Hmm I know you say you went on a bender because you've been busy at work but rhe fact you were in the biggest quilt fabric shopping place surrounded by gorgeous fabrics displayed in tempting ways might have contributed a little. It's fun to see your new purchases, your fabric combos and your ideas of using them. Your last paragraph is said so well.

ES said...

I definitely shop when I can't sew!! It just feels good to do something, plan a little, dream a little!! I gotta make ten million quilts now, to put a dent in my fabric piles!!

Barb said...

what a wonderful group of fabrics. It fun to go on a bender once in a while!! love those dotty circles.
I'm glad you posted. I felt a bit the same, but we also need to carry on with happy things and sharing our love of quilting.

Quiltdivajulie said...

Lovely, honest post - we have all been there and had our own benders. For me, the second joy is mixing those newbies into the existing stash and creating all sorts of new combinations. You are already well on your way!

audrey said...

Guilt? Perhaps. Us women are wonderful with that emotion. Shame? Not unless you spent the money for the mortgage! It looks like you bought fabrics that will work wonderfully for what you do and how difficult is it to resist in such an atmosphere? I think the current culture of feeling shame for buying things 'we don't need' is a bit out of whack especially when it comes to things like this. The pursuit of creativity in our individual lives fills a very important spot. It has value. Shake off that shame and make some glorious quilts. You'll feel amazing in the making. And what are you saving your money for anyway? The kids to buy a bigger house? lol


Superbes créations qui, avec cette flamboyance de couleurs, fait de l'objet un petit bonheur transportable sur soi, ou vecteur de l'amitié que l'on transforme en cadeau. Amitiés.


Tonya Ricucci said...

Yeah, I have a bit of a fabric addiction myself. I promised my husband I wouldn't buy anymore fabric if I could just have that new Juki. yeah, didn't make it. But gotta! I joke that I can't buy any more fabric until I've finished 30 quilts. My, I might actually get some quilts done if I had that much willpower.

Sharon said...

I know the feeling! I've felt the same way after going through Pacific International Quilt Festival. And it's so hard to resist all the beautiful fabrics displayed in ways to make us covet it! But, as artists, we need to have the necessary tools at our disposal. It's like a painter buying paint!

What wonderful "Paint" you bought! Now I want those yummy pearl bracelets fabrics. I'm a sucker for a rainbow bunch of fabrics! And all the other fabrics are so luscious as well. I think you should ditch the patterns and incorporate the kit fabrics into the stash. Do your own thing! It's so much more fun!

fiberchick said...

Beautiful fabrics and well deserved. No shame required:)